Damn and Slam But No Bam
Ever have something happen that makes you nervous to write about? Read on.
After supper last night, I was headed out the door to smoke. I stopped by the table in the living room by the door, got a cigarette and lighter, opened the door, and I saw it, curled up against the wooden door.
First, this: There is about a one-inch gap under the bottom of the storm door. It lets cold air in, but I block it off with something. Not energy efficient, I know.
Well, when I opened the door, a damn rattlesnake was curled up between the storm door and the wooden door, but his head and tail were still outside on the steps. I slammed the door, thinking I had probably broken the windows in the back of the house.
Went to the kitchen, got a broom, opened the door and tried to shove the snake out with the broom. It started moving, and rattling, I slammed the door shut again.
I told Andrew to get the 22, but we only had one bullet. I got the 410 (single action) and two shells. We went out the back and came around the front. Yep, still there.
The problem was I couldn't shoot it with the 410 because I'd blow the door to hell (which, now that I think about it, wouldn't have been a bad thing. At least, I would have had to buy another door). Andrew could see its head, but I had to get at another angle. I got up in the back of his truck (good thing because I didn't think the snake would crawl up in there with me). Andrew had a sword but I didn't want him to get too close.
But before Andrew shot, the snake crawled down the steps to the side, against the house, and he couldn't see its head anymore. I got out of the truck (yeah, I really did) but we couldn't see where it crawled to, because of azalia bushes (which I have heard attract snakes). That snake must have been at least 40 feet long, and as big around as a medium pine tree.
I stuffed an old pair of jeans against the gap and closed the wooden door. My project this weekend is to try to find a weather strip that will screw into the bottom of the storm door, and hopefully stop that kind of crap from happening again.
Shivers me timbers just writing about it.
After supper last night, I was headed out the door to smoke. I stopped by the table in the living room by the door, got a cigarette and lighter, opened the door, and I saw it, curled up against the wooden door.
First, this: There is about a one-inch gap under the bottom of the storm door. It lets cold air in, but I block it off with something. Not energy efficient, I know.
Well, when I opened the door, a damn rattlesnake was curled up between the storm door and the wooden door, but his head and tail were still outside on the steps. I slammed the door, thinking I had probably broken the windows in the back of the house.
Went to the kitchen, got a broom, opened the door and tried to shove the snake out with the broom. It started moving, and rattling, I slammed the door shut again.
I told Andrew to get the 22, but we only had one bullet. I got the 410 (single action) and two shells. We went out the back and came around the front. Yep, still there.
The problem was I couldn't shoot it with the 410 because I'd blow the door to hell (which, now that I think about it, wouldn't have been a bad thing. At least, I would have had to buy another door). Andrew could see its head, but I had to get at another angle. I got up in the back of his truck (good thing because I didn't think the snake would crawl up in there with me). Andrew had a sword but I didn't want him to get too close.
But before Andrew shot, the snake crawled down the steps to the side, against the house, and he couldn't see its head anymore. I got out of the truck (yeah, I really did) but we couldn't see where it crawled to, because of azalia bushes (which I have heard attract snakes). That snake must have been at least 40 feet long, and as big around as a medium pine tree.
I stuffed an old pair of jeans against the gap and closed the wooden door. My project this weekend is to try to find a weather strip that will screw into the bottom of the storm door, and hopefully stop that kind of crap from happening again.
Shivers me timbers just writing about it.
posted by ss at 8:50 AM
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